Edited image by Gerd Altmann

Welcome to Trump’s Week in Review for the 31st of December, 2017.

We all know the mainstream media loves to report on United States President Donald Trump, regardless of the actual importance of what is being reported. The term “in the public interest” can refer to almost anything, big or small, when it comes to the forty-seventh President of the United States. It doesn’t help that President Trump himself compounds this, seemingly reveling in the “Fake News”‘s obsession of him.

Trump’s Week in Review—perhaps unsurprisingly—is inspired by YouTuber Sargon of Akkad’s This Week in Stupid, and intends to be a brief weekly wrap-up of all the useless reporting of Donald Trump by the mainstream and other media sources. At the end, you’ll find a brief summary of all the actually important news stories about Trump that were lost in a sea of triviality. Without further ado…

A Jersey Shore cast member “schooled” Donald Trump on climate change, and everyone cheered. Yes, the same Jersey Shore that made Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi famous…

Donald Trump is going to the doctors. Yes, really.

Thanks to Trump, the world is a lot less safer for everyone: Australia’s Left-leaning  The Age reported that Trump’s “controversial” decision to recognize Jerusalem as the capital of Israel is proof that we cannot trust him in any capacity. They claim that this decision “calls attention both to the President’s habit of hasty decision-making and his grander strategy of choosing easy wins over hard work”, even after admitting Trump isn’t the first President to recognize Jerusalem in this capacity.

By supporting Iran’s protesters, Trump may actually be helping its government, The Independent tells us. They accuse him of copying the White House’s tweet almost word-for-word, and criticizes him for saying “The world is watching [Iran]”, saying that barely anybody outside Iran cares about the protests. It appears The Independent newspaper is supportive of the Iranian theocracy, which is quite a bit more concerning than Trump’s tweet. Basically it amounts to: Iranian citizens dislike Trump’s policies (just like us! Something in common!) so they support their own Government instead of the protesters as an eff-you to Trump.

He didn’t play golf today. Thanks for that gripping report, Mother Jones. The world would have been worse off not knowing about the President improving his golf swing.

He doesn’t know the difference between climate and weather, according to CNN. As evidenced by the rise of “climate change” Google searches, neither did most of the United States:

President Trump drinks nearly twelve bottles of Diet Coke per day, eats pizza backwards, and sleeps five to six hours a day. He also likes showing guests the many White House bathrooms!

For Christmas dinner, he ate too much! Earlier this month, the President ate more servings of ice cream than the press, and now, this. According to AOL:

Christmas Day dinner at Mar-a-Lago included five desserts — Piña Colada Crème Brulée, Brilliant Cheesecake, Black Forest Trifle Martini, Bread Pudding and the commander-in-chief’s signature confection, Trump Chocolate Cake.

…the menu started with Mr. Trump’s Wedge Salad, as the first of four salad or soup options.

Entrees included turkey, char crusted filet mignon and seared foie gras, braised short ribs, pan seared seabass and diver scallops.

A former White House intern  made the OK👌 hand gesture. So, so many news sites still believe the 4chan prank that it’s a symbol of white supremacy:

The Pentagon reportedly found proof of alien aircraft, but after 11 months of Trump we all just shrugged, according to The Mary Sue. Apparently this happened way back in 2004, when Donald Trump was merely the host of The Apprentice, so it has nothing to do with the President at all. Seriously, we could have proof of alien existence, and The Mary Sue reports it as “But…Trump!”

And here’s the actually important stuff about him you may have missed

He wants to increase the price of Amazon deliveries. It is well known that Amazon doesn’t actually make a profit from their business, and President Trump’s statement about the United States Postal Service and Amazon deliveries could potentially be fatal for the conglomerate.

Repealing net neutrality. Coming from a country where internet fast and slow lanes technically exist—thanks to the disaster that is the National Broadband Network—Americans really do not want to lose net neutrality. Donald Trump is openly is favor of repealing net neutrality. Sure, there was a bit of attention focused on net neutrality for a little while, but it seems everyone is too focused on how El Trumpo holds a glass of water to care very much.

An actual potentially impeachable offense: President Trump could still be working for the Trump Organization. If proven that President Trump is still engaging in business with the Trump Organization, it could be a fatal blow to his presidency. And do we really want him replaced with Mike Pence as Leader of the Free World?