Edited image by Rogier Hoekstra

Welcome to Trump’s Week in Review for the 7th of January, 2018.

We are now in the second year since Donald Trump was inaugurated as the United States President way back in January last year. And the mainstream media’s relentless reporting on Donald Trump—regardless of the level of importance—has not ground to a halt. If you long ago tuned out on all of it, here’s your chance to sound like you actually know everything there is to know about 45. Whether that’s President 45 or the year 1945, that’s your choice to make. Another conspiracy theory to boot?

As always, if you only want to read the important stuff, you can skip right to the bottom for the actually important stuff about him you may have missed:

If you’ve been living under a rock—or away from the relentless pessimism of Twitter—you’ve probably still heard that Michael Wolff, a relative unknown until recently, is publishing a tell-all book on Donald Trump. Entitled Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House, it apparently “highlights unflattering descriptions of Trump’s behavior, chaotic interactions among senior White House staff, and derogatory comments about the Trump family by former White House Chief Strategist Steve Bannon”. According to Business Insider, Wolff describes Trump as “like a child” and “It’s all about him.” Despite this, it appears Wolff cares more about himself, and his potential sales. An alleged narcissist writing about an alleged narcissist? A win for all!

Has the secret of Donald Trump’s hair finally been revealed? Out of all the “explosive” new revelations in Michael Wolff’s Fire and Fury, this is what The Guardian, as well as various other news sites, have decided to report on. He uses Just for Men! But not for the recommended amount of time! Ha!

Donald Trump is being unpredictable! Isn’t this just Donald Trump being Donald Trump?

Trump mounts extraordinary defense of his ‘mental stability, The Guardian tells us. Basically, in response to Michael Wolff’s biography, Donald Trump said this:

Yes, I get it, it reads like a parody of Donald Trump. This can’t possibly be real, I hear you muttering to yourself. But this is real. And the mainstream media have had a, like, field day talking about President Valley Girl. His Twitter rant even included the Trump Twitter Trifecta: Mentioning “Crooked Hillary”, talking about “Fake News”, and The Final Sentence Fragment Has an Exclamation Mark! For bonus points, the top comments are all Blue Twitter Checkmarks calling for his impeachment. The result of TTT: the mainstream media falls for it, time and time again. While the below “tweet” is fake (or…Fake News), it shows the Trump Twitter Trifecta in action:

fakeDonaldTrump

Battle for gay rights in small-town Kentucky election is a symbol of Donald Trump’s raging culture war, according to The Independent. Gay marriage was legalized in the United States quite a few years back, with no intention of changing. LGBT rights are flourishing. Southern states have been backwards since before Trump. What this has to do with Donald Trump is questionable. Especially considering the article is about gay man David Ermold running against the controversial Kim Davis to become county clerk, and the brouhaha surrounding Davis happened pre-Trump.

Rupert Murdoch doesn’t like Donald Trump very much. Isn’t this obvious? Peruse any Murdoch-owned newspaper and you’ll see the same amount of criticism of the President as you’d find in The Guardian or New York Times. And do we really care whether the two men who epitomize money and riches like each other or not?

Donald Trump is destroying California’s beaches, according to the Los Angeles Times. According to President Trump’s men, “drilling will be good for the economy and energy independence, and the technology is safe”. That sounds no good. Until you realize that the same laws were in place pre-2010, and it wasn’t until then that any politicians started caring about the L.A coastline. It just sounds a lot like what Gina Rinehart, the mining magnate, is trying to do with Australia’s Great Barrier Reef. Disgusting, regardless of who is doing it.

Donald Trump is probably to blame for a weak dollar. Yet again, this is a real headline. Leonid Bershidsky from The India Times accused President Trump of weakening the economy. The Onion and Clickhole, hang up your shoes. Nothing you write can ever be as ridiculous as the current round of headlines.

Is something neurologically wrong With Donald Trump? The Atlantic apparently believes it is good journalism to analyze and self-diagnose the President with an array of mental illnesses. Despite fifty-odd years of a Cold War threatening to escalate into nuclear war, we are only now afraid of a President setting off a nuclear Holocaust? This article also links to a bunch of scientific “evidence” to prove Trump is unfit to be President. Maybe they are unaware that the man is seventy-one years of age, the oldest of all modern Presidents. Perhaps we can draw to logical conclusions first?

He has done things again. Salon tells us that Donald Trump denies Russia collusion again. Slate reaffirms that, no, Donald Trump has not made the economy great again. USA Today is quick to tell us that Donald Trump again takes aim at NFL with tweet about protesting players. Vanity Fair wants to tell us Trump Again Proves to Be His Own Worst Legal Liability. It’s a never-ending flurry of Donald Trump doing things yet again.

And here’s the actually important stuff about him you may have missed

Donald Trump is supportive of the rebel protesters in Iran—and rightly so! Since, according to the mainstream media, Donald Trump is always wrong, this means the mainstream media is defending Iran, a totalitarian theocracy that denies women their basic rights. Feminists in the first world should rightly be defending those in Iran trying to fight for basic rights, but because El Trumpo is defending the protesters…silence. Why are we not more outraged? Where is the support of the heroic woman who took off her hijab in a public place in defiance of the regime?

Twitter made a statement about why they haven’t permanently banned @RealDonaldTrump. And, no, it’s not because they support fascism. On January 5, Twitter released this PR statement , which included a few key statements:

Blocking a world leader from Twitter or removing their controversial Tweets would hide important information people should be able to see and debate. It would also not silence that leader, but it would certainly hamper necessary discussion around their words and actions.

It probably also doesn’t help that keeping @RealDonaldTrump allows for more clicks on Twitter, hence more revenue for Twitter. It’s a win-win situation!